Prayer-ful

Prayer is opening a dialogue and
sometimes finding the answer in the silence that follows. 
-The Miracle Collectors

We pray your summer is in full swing and has had moments that have brought you joy as well as a sense of wonder. Speaking of prayer, this month Joan tackles the subject and finds meaning in the philosopher Soren Kierkegaard's words that, "The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays." It flips the usual notion of prayer around to acknowledge that we are the ones who need the grace that prayer can provide. 

Collecting Miracle Moments One Story at a Time.

Joan and Katie

Prayer is a funny thing - it's been around a long time. Still, I often wonder: am I doing it right, often enough, or with enough intention? My list of questions is long and truly gets in the way of the time I relegate to prayer in my somewhat crazed life, especially in summer when things are supposed to be simpler. Usually, I decide I am prayer-deficient and should work on praying better, that is, with one major exception: airplane prayers. There I am laser-focused, requesting specific assistance: to reduce the bumps, get out of the clouds, land easily, and have the whole experience be over!

In these instances up in the air, I find myself asking for help not only from traditional sources like God and the saints, but also from those I have lost over the years. Somehow I'm convinced they could be helpful in my time of desperation. My favorite duo is a beloved aunt and uncle not because they loved to fly but because in a month-long period, I had to fly 12,000 miles to attend each of their funerals and I figure they kind of owe me. I wasn't kidding about being prayer-challenged! I really don't believe that being owed something has any place in prayer. It's like a belief in miracles, which also has no strings attached. According to longtime religion editor, Kenneth Woodward, "To believe in miracles one must be able to accept gifts freely bestowed and altogether unmerited." 

The reality is that prayer and miracles are inextricably linked. Many people pray for a specific miracle and sometimes the miracle happens. But that begs the question we asked in our first book: What if the miracle you get isn't the miracle you asked for? Is it still a miracle? A classic example is the person who prays for someone's life to be spared and in the end they pass away. Some of these same people report that they come to experience an unexpected feeling of peace and well-being as they muster the ability to handle far more than they ever thought possible. Miracles have a way of sometimes sneaking up on us completely unwarranted, and our prayers, even the ones we didn't know we were focused on, are answered.

I've been part of a prayer group at my alma mater Boston College for several years. We are frequently asked to pray for someone connected, however loosely, to the BC community who needs assistance in some way. I have seen the power of prayer so often in these requests where the seemingly impossible becomes possible. For me, community prayer, like community exercise, is less stressful as I feel like my prayer is more authentic and I worry less.

Perhaps that's why Soren Kierkegaard's view of prayer, about changing the nature of the one who prays, resonates with me and helps resolve my perceived prayer deficits. His description solved my underlying dilemma about prayer where I thought an all-knowing God should know what is needed without having to ask specifically. Now, prayer makes more sense; we pray for ourselves that we may be better: more welcoming, less judgmental, more patient, less rote, more personal, etc. This list, like my questions about doing it right, goes on, but the good news is that now I understand what I am really praying for...(Joan)

Miracle Moment Challenge: Soul-Mate
What does it mean to you to be spiritual? Do you have spiritual traits or spiritual states? How would you nurture that part of yourself?