To Err is Human, to Forgive…
As we celebrate Thanksgiving and all that we have to be grateful for, even amidst our imperfect world, the words of Marianne Williamson, "...the practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world," challenge us to take personal responsibility for healing the ills of our current society, starting in our own lives. This month Joan looks at forgiveness from this viewpoint - hoping for the good that can result as we move forward on a path that guides us away from sadness, anger or regret toward inner peace.
Collecting Miracle Moments One Story at a Time.
Joan and Katie
As a child, one of my younger son's favorite games was playing Opposite Day, where yes meant no and no meant yes. The double negatives that ensued were a source of laughter amid the confusion. I was reminded of that in thinking about Thanksgiving and its significance as a day of gratefulness. I wondered what the opposite of gratefulness was, and while ungrateful is clearly the answer, that seems too simple. I mean how do we come to feel truly grateful: arms open wide, thanking the universe for the beauty, the love, and the gifts we have been given? In my mind, feelings of anger, guilt, and frustration get in the way of true gratefulness. With that in mind, the answer to the question of the opposite became clear: it's forgiveness. Perhaps, forgiveness of ourselves and of others, is the key to true gratefulness.
A recent article provided a wonderful example. Two young men from neighboring areas, found themselves as soldiers together in Viet Nam in 1968. They became friends, sharing experiences and ties to home in a far off land. One day while on patrol, they were crossing a stream when one of the men got stuck in the water. His friend turned to offer a helping hand. With no stick or rope to offer, the soldier in the water put out his rifle for his friend to grab onto to help pull him up the embankment. How the gun went off no one knows but the guilt the man in the water felt was extreme. Once home, the war was behind him, but the demons were not. He wanted to tell his comrade's family of the circumstances of their son's death. Each time he approached them he couldn't do it and instead lingered ghostlike in the background. Decades later, the fallen soldier's brother walked into the auto body shop where the man worked. At last, he screwed up his courage and told the story of that day, finally ready to accept what he thought would surely be the wrath of the family. Instead what he got was forgiveness - hugs and tears replacing guilt and uncertainty. They understood his pain and sorrow as their own questions were answered. With forgiveness, they welcomed him in into their close family circle and found peace.
Forgiveness allows us to be truly grateful, by opening our hearts, repairing our souls, and letting light, instead of darkness, burn within us. Perhaps that's why each of the world's Abrahamic faiths have processes in place to address wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and find the strength to begin again. In Catholicism forgiveness is through the sacrament of reconciliation and all Christians are called to examine themselves before taking of the bread and wine. In Judaism Yum Kippur is known as the Day of Atonement, a ritual to seek renewal and reconciliation with God. In its preceding days, people are expected to reach out to those they have hurt, to acknowledge wrongdoing and seek forgiveness. And according to peacebuilding expert Christy Vines, in Islam, forgiveness has three dimensions, "the vertical dimension of seeking divine mercy, the horizontal dimension of forgiving others, and the temporal dimension of hope beyond immediate pain."
This Thanksgiving, surrounded by our celebration of the holiday and finding something to be grateful for - why not also try and find a way to offer forgiveness, whether it be to yourself, a neighbor, family member, coworker, or someone who gets in your way! Seek to forgive by replacing hurt or blame with empathy and compassion and see what happens...My guess is that true gratefulness will be the result. Bon Appetite. (Joan)